今天下晏好晏好晏先起身...然後好勇咁熄o左部電腦唔比自己上網..逼自己一定要睇完d physics notes...雖然中途"目訓"o左幾粒鐘...跟住又起身再逼自己溫書...睇完先准食晚飯...睇到最尾係求其睇幾睇就算...但係睇到個reviewo架陣先發現原來唔係retaino左好多..正確o黎講係一d都retain唔到...點算好???叫做睇完dnotes但又一d都唔記得...咁點算..宜家直頭又坐o向部電腦前唔想再返去讀書..咁點算呀???點算???

我無事喇!!!除o左雙手有少少微軟酸痛...昨天一定是用力不當..但係點解唔係我對腳o既???

昨晚以為自己在作病...但係原來只是運動過量...都幾好笑..."目訓"醒一覺..好返d喇...望出去,ET外星人沒有留下痕跡.....
今天熊貓超人一定要好好努力努力!!!!!CONCENTRATE不了就要想辦法解決的了!!!!!!

I'm telling myself one thing but i'm doing another thing.. and then deep down inside, two voices are speaking.. "Yes, show them that you are not just something useless.. " "NO.. just forget it.. you can never ever be something useful.. " NO. I don't want competition.. but sometimes.. I just found that it's hard to snap out of it when someone is doing that comparison.. I HATE IT.. It could be just me.. but then I just have this feeling.. what can I do? Give me a break.. just forget about your superiority for a moment and think... drop your pretence.. I absolutely hate this.. if You don't like something just speak out instead of putting on an attitude exhibition.. crap.. ... and I hate myself becuz of this and becuz of you.. and furthermore I hate myself more becuz you have made me realize the fact that I'm useless and I'm not working hard enough to change my status.. SHXX.

good..got that out of my system.. FYI.. just in case you were thinking that "YOU" is you.. it's probably not you..(or it could be you..if you so want it to be.. ) I don't intend on that "you" to be reading this anyways.. and I'm just using "you" becuz I just feel like it.. and it's more direct as if I'm yelling at that person.. oh well. this whole thing could be just me anyways.. tomolo i might regret what I put.. but anyways.. "you" probably won't be reading this anyways.. and if "you" do read this.. well then "you" probably won't know I'm talking about "you" anyways.. so GOOD..

ANYWAYS...出面又下著雪了...或許,我還是回去嘗試再一次溫書好了..sigh...為什麼每一次下雪的日子總不能好好地以好心情去欣賞飛舞中的天使..又或者為什麼白色衣裳的小精靈為什麼總不會給我帶來歡樂???明天...又會有tic tac toe外星人在樹屋下留下來過的痕跡...只是我還是不能好好的近距離看一看...明天..不如去拉記溫習吧...

"There are some ppl on earth that are just so good at making ppl go into depression.. " Yes I know I'm stupid.. Yes I know I'm nothing compared to other ppl and you.. and I'm just one of those normal ppl whose existence on earth doesn't mean anything to the world or watsoever.. I KNOW THAT.. and I surely don't need ppl to give me the ATTITUDE that makes me more like scum.. or even lower than scum on earth.. if you don't want me to bug you.. just say so.. and you don't have to go into all the depths to HINT that I'm just stupid.. sometimes some troubles can be saved if you just do a simple thing.. and then I DON'T EVEN have to bug you or talk to you then.. but NO.. sometimes I just think that you are neglecting all these simple things just to show your superiority.. you have done your job.. you may deny you may argue.. but I think deep down inside.. you are just happy.. YES I fxxking know that I'm plain stupid despite of my own free will.. but there is nothing I can do.. Things just used to come easy... now it doesn't.. my life was simpler then. but not now.. sometimes.. i just keep on telling myself that one day I'll let the whole world see that I'm not a worthless scum.. but moments like this.. i'm just torn..

睡醒之後...內疚..然後逼自己看完個topic先准食晚飯....但係一路看一路吃零食..yeah so much for 逼自己...然後勉強的看完但又完全的retain唔到...走了去食今日下晏食剩隻肥油雞...之後就一直上網...唔想再返去溫書???但係其實根據我個schedule睇..我今晚其實係應該要睇晒我d lecture noteso架...oh well so much for that as well...一路上網其實都覺悶..但又偏偏唔想返去讀書...msgo左好多個online的人....希望找到一點點的希望/慰藉....然後...一邊跟幾個人msg..一邊將自己很久沒好好存檔的blogs與沒有publisho既journal好好的分返files存返起...然後由於自己再一次過份的sensitive...過份的介懷...過份的moody..再一次心情不好...而下了一個結論:

又無mood讀書...點算好...

今天一早起來跟笨友x2 去了做占..是,又去做占..因為近排實在食得太多雜糧...
之後又去了gain weight..咁樣唔係辦法....lose完又食過...仲要係食d油諗諗o既o野..真係唔係辦法...次後有人上來畫畫畫塗鴉完一番還好像不想離去的樣子...幸好有人還要去瞎拼..要不以某人的性格看來是c也不會走的了..哈哈哈...不過跟天使與文迪在一起的時侯大概是今天最高興最無憂的時侯...... 她們走了以後...小笨友讀了不夠五分鐘又睏了.走了去睡....然後笨爸打來跟睡夢中的小笨友說了些東西...到現在其實還是不太清楚他打來的目的是什麼...大概是電視劇還未做,沒什麼世藝所以便打來跟無聊人無無聊聊一番吧..

笨媽回來了....isometric..等多我一個星期...dc小朋友..等多我六日...等熊貓超人好好的打完剩下o個兩仗便會回來跟你們見面的了...為什麼沒有影下很多很多的相???我想看o耶...isometric..等我呀!!!!meanwhile..這個weekend還是真的不要回家的好...要不真的會玩物x志的...在樹屋雖然心散但都叫做有一兩個字係productiveo既...回到家..見到新成員...便會忙著打招呼的了o耶...好了...為了isometric...我要努力努力...未來六日...有三餐晚餐將會食tv dinner...仲有三餐有人請就最好..無人請就睇下食乜好...唔...好了我都要好似劉醫生咁determined先得...不過無得上網無得blogging...在樹屋我真的會挨不下去的o耶..唯有上少dd算啦.........:p

睇HP時的感動/發現:
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE對HP說PHOENIX是一種很神奇的生物,因為它們會死去然後化死灰燼,在灰燼中又會重生..它們有著永恆的生命力...只是當DUMBLEDORE的大特寫影在PHOENIX身後的時侯,那一刻我很想念死去的RICHARD HARRIS... 說這番話的人己經死了...曾經說過:"DEATH IS BUT YET ANOTHER ADVENTURE"的人死了...除了他之外,好像真的沒有人會比他更像DUMBLERDORE的了...嗚嗚嗚...

忽然一句/兩句/三句:
我心入面有條刺..我FEEL到某人心裡也有條刺...我知,在我心內的那條刺或許不應該存在...或許..在我來說當然它的存在是理所當然的..但只要用心想一想其實或許未必...某人的刺我不知道它的生存是不是justifiable..因為我不是某人心裡的蟲...那條刺在那裡是什麼我也不知道...我就是討厭猜猜猜遊戲,不妥便說出來...不要在背後跟別人靜靜討論.....不會有些什麼改進的...只會令自己的刺越陷越深...

發覺有人其實都是超級的好勝...跟從前(/現在??)的小笨友不相伯仲....要不是小笨友在心情好時盡量抑壓自己,不知道兩個好勝的人吵過了多少遍了...

唔..睏了,還是回去睡一睡然後好好開始prep好了...

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腰茶島第三次大戰第二仗~~THERMO精
THERMO精一出招便要笨小戇熊貓超人屈服...居然要小笨友說埋晒d好嘔心的東西: "Where is the Thermo?" "It's EVERYWHERE." 但沒有辦法o耶...THERMO精實在是太厲害了...連熊貓超人也逃不過這一招,幸好熊貓超人也不太弱喇,懂得用這個苦肉計來避開THERMO精的法眼!!!不算太順利地過了THERMO精的第一關....第二關...妖精一出招,熊貓超人立刻自打三掌高呼: "為什麼??為什麼沒有專心地鍛鍊??為什麼沒有把敵人的一招一式完全徹底記下來,為什麼?????????????"

沒精打采的熊貓超人一邊自打,一邊躲避thermo精的攻擊...難得挨過了兩個小時... 已經完全散晒...

熊貓超人自己知道自己沒有好專心好專心地溫書..所以今次失敗不干任何人的事...可是歷史在對THERMO精之後又再一次上演喇...欲知詳情,請看下回分解...(終於有點睏了..好o耶...)

樹屋備戰中~~推介一
無聊時聽音樂...發現楊小姐的"小飛俠"也很好聽..(其實我真的不應該這麼得閒..成日take break..)不過真係好聽...不過都仲係唔知把男聲究竟係邊個..不過首歌真係幾好o架..
推介二/三:
鄭小姐在左眼中的歌也不錯..無聊時聽聽也不錯..
為什麼我真的是這樣的懶散呢??

腰茶島第三次大戰~~APM大魔王
ok啦..打完之後,傷手傷腳咁囉...話難打又無上年o個d咁難打,話二又唔係易...出o左招,但係唔知魔王有無中蕉...點都好...上幾次o既經驗教曉o左小笨友過去o左o既o野就唔好諗咁多...所以打完仗之後都同島友we wet養傷去...看了左眼見鬼...然後去了買taco落樓下樹屋食...然後就咁樣呢幾日都無心再戀戰..沒有之前咁勤力備戰...真的很不喜歡這樣啊,但是小笨友真的沒有mood..不在mood..也沒有辦法...為了令自己努力努力,只好用幾近乎變態的方法去獎勵/懲罰自己...我真的要好好地打下一場仗的o耶...沒有mood要繼續努力..為什麼就是這樣的懶散???不應該..

腰茶島二次大戰前夕...小笨友跟某人說了一些過份樂觀,過份輕敵的說話...但某人沒有將我帶回地面...為什麼不告訴我事實???
有時侯,不是自己過份的sensitive,而是人家真的是有這樣的反應...但明知,卻沒有辦法去避免,因為我沒有那個能力...
好了..休息時間完畢,繼續備戰!!!!

Insight while talking to Suitemate over the sink about NY:

NY is just like a buffet dinner. There are Chinese food, Beef, Sushi, Fries, different kinds of bread, salads, etc... You are given a lot of variety, but then the thing is the food you are given is not the best that you can have in comparison if you just goto a Japanese restaurant or Chinese restaurant..And the most important thing about this buffet dinner is.. you have already paid...

And the continuation from my ICQ INFO:
The thing with going to a buffet. You are in for the variety, but not the quality, well not much anyways.. or should I say You are in for the variety but not the specialization.. you are going to a buffet because they have all sorts of food, but then you will never get the same kinda elegance or extravagance that you might get if you just go to a Chinese/Japanese/French/Italian restaurant. You are given a lot of choices, but then you might not actually want to take in everything.. but the thing is.. you have already paid for the buffet.. yes, you could so stop eating but knowing that you have paid already?? There seems to be no way out but to keep on choking down more food..

有時侯開始諗...與其在這兒迷茫不斷地做著些不知道是為什麼的事,那不如在出面跟小禿一起跳舞吧...至少會知道自己在幹著些什麼..至少小禿不會寂寞...